Mommy, do you still love me?
Maddox and Slade both have such tender hearts, despite their very different personalities. In our home, Ken and I make sure to emphasize after we correct the boys on something that their actions do not have any effect on the amount of love we have for them. We tell them that if they chose to do things that are disobedient or wrong, we are disappointed but our love never wavers because of it.
There have been several times where Maddox or Slade came to us with tear filled eyes while trying to talk through overwhelming tears. Mommy, do you still love me? I'm sorry for what I did and I won't do it again.
It's in those times I scoop up our kids, even if Slade's almost taller than me now (age 9), and squeeze them tight. Of course I still love you, son! There's nothing in the world that would change that for me. Your behavior is what you do, but I love you for who you are.
Do we believe that God has the same love for us or do we, on a subconscious level, believe we have to earn that love day after day? So much of our anxieties and worries would simply melt away if we, like our boys do to us, would run into the Lord's arms and tell him about our struggles and just rest in HIS grace.
No matter which number you fall on the #Enneagram, you need God to give you grace. (Can I get an Amen!) Remember that you and I are always growing and changing and working to be perfected in Christ. Thankfully we are not doing this alone. (Hint....it doesn't work that way. Ask me how I know!)
"The Enneagram shows us nine basic personality Types, each with its own specific patterns of thinking and ways of being: nine valid perspectives of the world. Getting to know each of these personality Types increases understanding, compassion, mercy, grace, and forgiveness toward ourselves and others." -Your Enneagram Coach
As a coach, my desire is to help you learn to be A.W.A.R.E. of when you're veering off course. Each Enneagram number can be wise, caring, radiant, creative, knowledgeable, insightful, joyful, protective, and peaceful but can also stray away from those things when in stress (also known as an unhealthy version of their number.)
Using the acronym AWARE, we can be awakened to where we need the Lord to help us in certain areas.
Awaken-Notice how you are reacting in your behavior, feelings, thoughts and body sensations.
Are you responding to those around you with careful thought and responses or are you reacting with your emotions before truly forming your answer?
Noticing when you're in the fight or flight mode is the first step to awakening to your behavior.
Welcome: Be open to what you might learn and observe without condemnation and shame.
Breathe and allow God to show you where this area is causing struggle for you. Don't be ashamed that you're struggling but rest in knowing that God's grace is sufficient for you and even if this is the 10305928340th time you've struggled with this "thorn", you can get help for it once again.
Every Enneagram type was affected by the fall of sin in a different way. We are all imperfect so there's nothing to be ashamed of. Not asking for help or guidance is when the shame and condemnation deepens.
Ask: Ask the Lord to help clarify what is happening internally.
You know when you are walking in the backyard at night time and there is no light, it can be scary! Sure, you know it's your yard and where everything is, but the heaviness of the dark can sometimes give you the willies!
Before we know what is happening on the inside, it can be really scary. Even if we "know ourselves", allowing God's light to shine in is the only way to truly know what is happening internally.
Asking God for clarity is like Him bringing a flashlight to you when you're standing in the darkness so He can illuminate your surroundings for you and expose any danger.
Receive: Receive any insight and affirm your true identity as God's beloved Child.
Once the imperfections and weaknesses have been revealed, receive what God is telling you about this. It doesn't mean you are a bad person or are a disappointment to Him. It means that He loves you so much, He is willing to be patient and teach the lesson over and over again until you have a grasp on it.
Know that some of us are slow learners and will keep repeating the lessons until we truly absorb the good that God has for us and accept that are we not perfect but can be made whole in God. Do you expect your children to be perfect? Hint: God doesn't either. :)
Enjoy: Take comfort in being Christ's beloved child and enjoy your new freedom from old self-defeating patterns of living.
Just went through a rough patch in the "school of life"? Enjoy and take rest in knowing that you are a child of God.
Read. That. Again.
Just like your love for your children is unwavering, God's love for us is too. We don't have to ask, "Daddy, do you still love me" because He literally wrote a book about it and died for you because of it.
God loves to see you happy and rejoicing in your new found freedom. It can only come from Him though. Seeking pleasures and trying to navigate the dark alone may work for a little while, but in the end it will lead you weary, wanting and traveling in circles.
Allow God to keep you AWARE of when you're veering off the path He's designed for you and rest in knowing that you can't do anything to lose His love.